emosi

salam semua..
berdsrkn tjk diatas, mst anda2 bole agak dh ape yg ak nk citekn.mmg boring pn tp buat2 bace jerla dan kpd sp2 yg rajin nk baca, ak nk cerita sikit ak org yg mcm mana dalam realiti kehidupan ni.kpd besties2, dorg mmg paham dan taula ak org yg mcm mn


ak ni org yg bole dikatakn happy-go-lucky.xsuka nk sedih2 or marah2.tp cpt jugak naik angin dan cepat jugak sejuknye.tp x bermaksud ak seorg yg sensitif sbb ak selalu xamek serius kalau bdk2 ni kutuk2 ke gurau kasar dan sebagainya.tp itu yg org nampak di luaran


dalaman yg org tak tahu, ak ni cpt down and cpt rs discourage dan seterusnya ak menangis sendirian.dan bile i'm having these hard times, org lain xkan tau kecuali mama.tp mama selalunya bknlah pendgr yg baik(i dun blame her though.dia lg happy-go-lucky.tamola dia terheret skali dgn kesedehan ak ni) but atleast ak lega sbb ak dpt smpkan ape yg terbuku di hati.selain itu,ak bersyukur sbb Allah selalu bantu ak sbb walau betapa kecewa pn ak, ak xpernah give up.ak cuba bangun dan kuatkan usaha.ak tau sume ujian yg Allah bagi ade hikmahnya dan Allah sayang kite dan tamo kite lupekan Dia.mmg btolla bila org ckp bila kte ssh br cr Allah dan br nk ingat Dia.ak masih berusaha utk menjadi hamba Allah yg lbh baik.InsyaAllah.even rakan2 jarang tau bile ak bersedey sume.dan kdg2 bile ak jz ckp kat msg 'sedeyla', mksd dlm realitinya 'Aku sangat sedih dan menangis dan ak harap ko bagi semangat kat ak supaya ak tabah menghadapi sume ujian  ni'


kadang2 org tgk ak macam seorg yg tiada masalah and life happy je manakala diorang la paling stress sbb byk assignmentla, kene presentla, kene buat reportla blabla.ak pon lagi byk kejela tp xperlu nk bgtau or cerita kat semua org.ak every 7 weeks ade end of posting exam dimana exam ak tu scr verbally dpn 2 lecturers yg bole nk tanya ape2 saje.ape2 case je bole dpt.kadang2 syndrome pelik2 dimana sepjg posting xprnh jmp tibe2 ade dalam exam tu.report jgn ckpla.within  7 weeks tu kne send 2 case reports and make sure u know those patients well.presentation??jgn ckpla.at least dlm setiap posting (dlm 7 wks tu) ade 2-4 presentation utk seminar or case presentation dimana selalu diattack oleh lecturer jgk.itu belom msk bedside teaching presentation yg at least sorg kena present 3-4x.kalo nk markah byk or nk perform better presentla banyak2. tu belom msk part2 sah2 kena maki,bebel,sindir dgn lecturer sbb tatau jwb.nnt jd HO lg terok.and talk about cuti.ssh gile nk dpt cuti kot.so there you go!bkn korg saja stress dlm dunia ni!!dan bkn ak saja yg stress jgk dlm dunia ni.kena redhala jalan yg dipilih dan setiap jalan tu adelah ujiannye.

ak ni jugak bkn seorg yg open up to people unless i really know you well.i don't simply cerita problem2 ak kt org,cite kerisauan ak kt org,i'm just not.and kdg2 ak jgk xphm kenapa org bole menjd supersensitif.mmgla karakter dia mcm tu.tp masalahnye kadang2 ko nk ckp lps and kenekan org lain bole but then bile org ckp sikit psl ko dh sakit hati.ak mmg tapaham.this is life.you've gotta deal with little2 things.kdg2 kite lupela byk org jauh lg menderita dr mende2 kecik2 cmtu.just move on your life!


dan satu benda org WAJIB tau pasal ak adelah ak paling benci org yg cancel mende last minute( except cancel clsla).SGT BENCI dan sgt pangkah org mcm ni.dr experience ak sendiri, mmg bile org buat cani, ak mmg naik angin gile2.ak ni sgt realistik orgnye.ko bole je cancel bende kalo ko ckp awl2 at least 1 day before.tp kalo haritu jugak ko cancel or 30min be4 tu jgk ko cancel....aishhh,jgn cr psl.don't mess around with me when it comes to this kinda thing.tahap skt hati ak ni bole smp berbln2 smp ak xmo ckp pn gan ko.mmg tahap xmo kawanla.that's the kinda person i am.i'm very lenient tp certain things yg ak xsuke mmg ak sgt xsuke.dan br2 ni br sj berlaku dan skrg ak sgt pangkah itu budak.


oke.sekian sj utk hrni.wasalam

lagu

yayyyy..harini dpt juga update blog.haha.tapi sbnrnye malas nk tls pjg sbb paham2 jerla bile dh strt b'belog ni mula la ak tulis list2 pjg yg tah pape.neway, a bit update about myself, skg ak dh masok final sem dh.tgh posting paediatric yakni postg kanak2 and also neonate yakni baby2 br lahir yg xckp bln tu.doakanla ak dpt lepas exam professional 3 tahun dpn dan dpt menjadi dr pada masanye.huhuhu.i hope everything is gonna be smooth.tp risau jugak sebnrnye exam sem 9 hrtu.ak punye rotation ade psikiatri and o&g.am not so worried about psikiatri tp o&g sgt risau sbnrnye.short cases fibroid case dh ke laut sgt.malas nk cerita yg tu sbb sedeh sgt and kecewa tp the other case gestational diabetes mellitus+postdate+ induction of labour not so bad la.bese2 je.ak mampu doa jerla dpt lulus sume.paper baq pulak sgt ssh tp pbq oklah.i do have to work harder for short cases.listen more carefully to the instruction and questions next time,get the RIGHT finding( there must be findings cuz it's short cases.BEAR THAT IN MIND FIZAH!!!!!) and don't panic.tp kene redha jerla dgn ape yg berlaku.anyway, skg asik t'igt je satu lg ni sbb tgk trailer cite Kil The Movie.tajuknye 'lagu' by bo.nice voice really and the hair too.hahaha,enjoy this song guys

entri hari rabu lagi.

salam semua.hrni ade entri baru lg.bknkah bgtu lapang hidup sy bukan?hahaha.tgh blurr wat write up ni.so hrni nk cerita psl manner sikit.sgt sirius bunyinye ya.

ak dh lama prasan benda ni.tataula mmg budaya, gurauan ke ape.tp benda ni mmg biasa berlakula.ak sendiri byk kali mengalaminya.antara sintuasi2 yg ak bole recall adalah seperti berikut :

Situasi 1: br tadi kt hospital, masa kt parkg space dpn hostel nurse.ak jalan la nk pg kt kete. lps tu dgr suara dr jauh tgh naik motor "hai, nk gi mana tu?"ak igt dorg ckp gan sape2 tah.lepas tu bile ak dh kt dlm kereta and motor dorg dh dkt gan kete ak, br ak sdr dorg tgh ckp gan ak.tnye lg "nk g mana tu?"ak cm blurr2&tgk je lar tanpa sebrg perasaan.i dun really care if the guy is the outsider meaning someone who's not working in the hospital but this guy is a medical assistant and was acting this way.hmmm.sshla mcm tu kn

Situasi 2: time ni kt wangsa walk.i was with 3 little kids ( not so little).time tu bw dorg tgk movie.lepas tu, beli tiket dlu and later while waiting for the movie kitorg pg la tutti frutti dlu.ms tgh jln2 nk g tutti frutti tu, there was this group of 19 to 20-year-old boys and about 2-3 of them were like "hai, awk". i wasn't looking directly at them and tried to ignore them. ak mcm pelik sbb bukan ak ni mcm bw ank 3 org ke.still dorg bole mcm tu

Situasi 3: ini dekat jj au keramat. i was with my nephew and niece.then sggh beli big apple.everything was going smooth until bile kitorg keluar, there was this guy, ya.. the big apple's employee he was saying something like " i love you, i miss you"not to be perasan or anything but we're the only customer during that time and this guy was waving at me.i know he was joking around and so on.but not in front of the kids and what if these kids were my children, dorg x segan ke kacau2 mak org cmtu.

Situasi 4: this time dkt Sg. Buloh Hospital.i was walking alone to koperasi. then, there were these 2 visitors lalu bertentangan kt sebelah. and u know what, he was saying " hai dr, dh mkn?dr sehat?" then they were giggling. i was looking at them feelingless and as usual ignored these kinda people.tapela ak student org nk kacau mcm tu.tp kalau dr pn dorg x respect and kacau2 mcm kt mall je.tatau la nk kate ape

Situasi 5 : masa ni kt uitm shah alam. i believed i was in 2nd yr.mcm biasa kitorg tade cuti pjg2 mcm bdk kos len.so time tu mmg bdk mdc jelar tggl dlm campus.quite scary though.neway, i'm on my way back to my college with my fren (couldn't remember who).masa jln kt area klj teratai kot,ade kereta stop and pggl kitorg mcm nk tnye tmpt. since tmpt ni dlm uitm and these guys nmpk mcm student.ak pn pg la.and bile dh gi kt dorg. this dude was asking " nama siapa?"mcm hape je.but i remembered that dude was kinda hot ( sempat lg kn usha)but still perangai cmtu so ak jln jelar mls nk lyn.tp time sume org cuti tu mmgla asek kne kacau gan tah sape2la dlm uitm tu

ape yg ak tapaham skg:

1. kenapa org nk behave cmtu.guess what, i'm not that pretty (kalo cantik xdela ak single dr dlu) but still org nk xde keje nk kacau2 cmtu.Besides, i'm a bit too old to be kacau-ed.zmn2 dak sek or asasi bolela.Most of the ppl around me ckp ak ske buat muke anxious gan xpuas ati. adkh itu  yg mendorong org utk mengacau ak?musykil

2. kenapa  kt hosp pn org2 ni ade mase nk mengamalkn aktiviti sedemikian.it's not shopping mall or pasar

3. kenapa even ak dh nmpk mcm kakak ke mak2 bdk gan bw anak sume dorg still nk gatal2 cmtu.at least kalo ade bdk tak pyhla behave cmtu.bad influence

anyway, xphm knp org behave mcm tu.very uncomfortable.but usually nk handle org cmni just ignore and leave them.they thought they were joking around so let them be. dh mcm budaya apetah rsnye mcm tu esp yg sah2 bdn kecik2 tp ade hati la kan nk kacau kakak2 mcm ak ni.kelaka la pulak.so renung2kanla buat org yg mempunyai perangai serupa.sekian

entri hari rabu

salam..ak sgtla boring ye skg maka sdg cuba membuang masa dgn mengupdate blog yg x berapa nk meriah mcm blog org len ni.disini ak cuba menyalurkn (ecehhh) betapa risaunye ak sbb byk gile mende tatau psl o&g.last time ade postg ni ms 3rd yr.dlu ckp psl gestational diabetes mellitus, pregnancy induced hypertension, premature rupture of membrane, PPROM, multiple gestation, ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage and so on sume cite mcm air je.skg cm blurr. i know i'm in d 2nd wk of posting but still am i demented or something??aaaa!!!mintak smpg dijauhkn.ditambh pulak mood nk m'bc ni tade  dsbbkn mood raya ade lg(pdhal bknnye pg beraya sgt).skg ni tgh bc cervical neoplasia pn xhbs2 lg.pastu ak ni dh 5th yr pn still cm mls2.ade ward work g tdo.dhla tade study grp and xtgk kes2 len kad wad len for preparation for pro exam!eeeeiii!!bahaya btol!!wake up fizah!!!fokus!!

neway, hrtu hr sabtu parents ak buat open hse.maap le sape2 yg x dijmpt tu.buat sdrhana je.tp bdk cls ak xrmi pulak dtg.geram!but then again there must be a reason why they did not turn up kn. rmi jgk yg dtg.kwn ayan, sedara and the unexpected guest(tadela unexpected sgt sbb dia ckp mmg dia nk dtg pn.hahah).papela.bz gle weekend hrtu smp xstadi pape ok.case write up x siap lg kne submit by thursday.sebaik kes placenta praevia (mcm hebat gle).pstu isnin hrtu bile bedside teaching still blurr2 bile dr tnye.dorg2 ble je jwb.sedey btol.nmpk sgt byk bnda ak dh lupe dan xstadi lg.kene lbh rajin ni Fizah!

oklah.mane bole nk cite pjg sgt kerja x hbs lg ni dan menampakkan kelapangan ak.lg satu ak tgk2 jgk sp visitor kt blog ak ni.plek2 je dr bristol??hahaha.sah2 sesat.cr resepi muffin agknye.pastu dr tronoh, puchong and kjg.yg klakanya br ak tau kajang tu t'ltk kt negeri sembilan.wahahah.!sekian saja

twin sister- lady daydream

today my post will be really short and sweet (thank God). jz want you guys to listen to this song. couldn't get off my mind.i 1st heard when i was watching hana tajima tutorial of wearing hijab.but then this song was in the background.i would say she had good taste in music heee. =)

feeling good after exam =)

salam semua, rasanya sdh berkurun mgkn berabad jua ak sdh tdk update blog ni dan mgkn sdh berkulat agknye blog ni.bkn takmo tls, tp ak agk bz (pdhal postg psikiatri je).apetah yg ak bzkn pn tatau.hahah.lps hbs cuti raya ni,amekla ko btol2 punye bz sbb msk postg O&G.bersedialah nk rebot2 gan HO tagging tok smbt baby dan kene mrh gan nurse2 tu.ssh jgk nk blaja pekakkan tlinge gan jd zombie ni.hahah

oklah.memandangkn ak mmg tatau nk tls psl ape.meh ak crite2 sikit ape aktvt ak hrni iaitu hari rb (24/8/11).hrni ak  exam video testing utk end posting exam psikiatri.cuak jgk.tp postg ni la kire xm yg plg sng compared to postg2 len.sbbnye postg len ade long case or short case dimana kne assessed by 2 doctors and present directly psl history or physical finding dpn dr.later dorg akn tnye je ape2 yg dorg rs nk tnye.maka bg org2 yg ade panic disorder cm ak ni boleh menyebbkn ak super nervous and eventually boleh mental block...arghh!sume bergantung pd nasib dpt case ape,lecturer mane or soalan ape dia nk tnye.nasibla sume ni.mmg xbole nervous la yg plg pntg skali!oklah itu mgkn len kali bole cite.

utk xm video testg td.tgk video dr. salmi interview primer (meaning org yg di trained to act like a real patient for educational purposes)that patient presented to the methadone clinic and he had known history of heroine dependence.due to his substance dependence + poor social support, he eventually developed major depressive disorder as he fulfilled the criteria especially the suicidal ideation. so after hbs video tu, ade 4 Qs given to us.1) patient's mental status 2)what investigations you want to do in this patient 3)give 2 diagnosis and the criterias fulfilled by this patient 4)how does methadone program can reduce the 'harm'.soalan last tu mmg goreng dan membuat teori sendrila.hahaha.dhla last time grp kitorg x smpt nk g methadone clinic kt sg.buloh pn.hishhh.tatau le camana jdnye.

lps hbs exam tu, blk bilik sebok dok siapkn case writeup dgn tls tgn hokay!nk pts nerve ak ni.ak dh buat softcopy dlu utk case tu.ak buat psl bipolar 1 disorder.pas blk exam je tros tekun ak menyalin( tadela tekon sgt pn cuz smpt b'fb lgkn).tp smp kt management gan discussion ak stuck!salu cmtu!management tu kalo nk ikot buku mmg pjg lebar x terkate.tp bile nk relate gan patient tu yg buat ak pening pale nk pkr.nk2 case psikiatri, bkn nk treat gne ubat je, we need to take psychological and psychosocial treatment into account.so pnt jgk nk grg2.tah papel ak buat agknye.last2 siap kol 5 lebih.pastu packing2 brg then tros blk rmh.smpt buke kt rmh.tp pas buke tros tdo hokay, skt prot gile( it's a woman thingy).bgn2 je, feeling better, mandi blablabla.last2 dok dpn computer ni smbl kesian nengok blog ak ni berkulat2.hahaha.itu sajela crite hrni.hrni nk selitkn satu lg dr anggun.suke lagu ni.enjoy k!

pemalu

adoi2..tajuk yg klaka sbb kalo kwn2 ak yg bc ni mesti dorg gelak sambil mengutuk2 ak sambil menafikan penyataan bhw ak sememangnya pemalu orgnya.bile waktunye ak jd seorang pemalu.spt biasa ak suka bg senarai (bersediala melihat entry yg pjg lebor lg)

1. ak sgt pemalu terhadap stranger.ak takkan tegur seseorang smp org tu tegur ak dulu xcept patient la kan.ak mmg jenis mcm ni.dudukla berjam2 seblh org tu, kalo dorg tak tego, ak pn ak buat bodo berjam2.tp once org start tego, ak jd org yg sgt friendly terhdp mrk.ak boleh strt borak psl apa2 pn smp xde pause lnsg sbb ak sgt xske awkward situation. tp selalunya mende cmni berlaku bile dgn girls la sbb frankly speaking kdg2 ssh nk msk sket gan dorg.kdg2 dorg jns lemah lembut, oversensitive etc etc.lg pn dorg pn hrp kte tego dan sah2 ak bkn jns mcm tu tp x semuala mcm tu.guys sng sikit nk msk sbb firstly, dorg ni mmg jns x malula men tego je sp2 tp ade jugak yg kaki2 penyegan (jgn hrp ah ak plak nk tego dorg).pastu dorg jns selamba dan layan je cite2 merepek (yg ni ak suka sbb ak sememangnya spesies merepek jgk).plg best kalo strt gado2 gan dorg.mmg klaka la.tp ak rs awkward sikit dgn guys yg strt tego and bhs kan dr mrk" i u" ke "sy awk.".itu mmg klaka sbb bole tau mrk jns org yg proper sikit xpn mmg skema.tp lyn jerla kan

2. ak jua sgt pemalu terhadap guru2 or lecturer2 ( yg ni jgn ikot ye.krn sgtla tdk baek utk pembelajaran anda). ak tau mende ni x elok or x bgs utk dr dan mgkn jua kesihatan tp ak ttp rs malu.ak mmg x reti nk ngendeng gan golongan2 ini.smp nk tego bg salam pn sgt segan ye.ak psti mrk pn xkn igt muka ak. kdg2 dorg tnye soalan kt kls, walaupn ak tau ke ak pnh bc ke, ak mmg takkan jawab unless mmg dia srh ak or dia tnye sorg2.ak tatau knp ak jns mcm ni.ak rs sbb ak ni mgkn lack of confidence or ade penyakit pscychology spt OCD(obsessive compulsive disorder) jua.ntahla.tp ak rs semua org mst ade sedikit OCD dlm dr termskla ak.oke lupekan.dh lari tajok.hah.gitula citenye.ak mmg pemalu tak bertempat ye.igt lg jmp lecturer, pnyela sgn nk tego dorg last2 dorg yg bg salam hokay!segannye ak!xbole cmni.nnt x phm pn segan nk tnye.tp sbnrnye ak segan kalo dpn student2 lain je.kalo dpt jmp lecturer lps tu utk tnye soalan, ak ok je.tp mslhnye rajin pulak kn ak nk call2 lecturer nk g jmp dorg!last2 cr answer sendr xpn tnye membe.tp bile still xpuas ati gan jwpn dorg ak tros lupekan.tp ak perasan bile ak faham btol2 smp ke akar umbi knp mende tu jd cmtu, ak mmg igt lama.kalo takat2 tau reason cmtu2 mmg kejap je le igtnye.masalahkn amek medic cmni. dh tau memori takat2 cmtu still nk amek mdc gak.

3. hah.yg ni part plg best.ak perasan sgt ak skg selalu cite kaitan cinta-cintun ni sejak dua menjak ni.tah menggatal ke hape ak skg.tp lantakla kan ni blog ak kan.hahak.ak rs  pemalu antara salah satu sebab ak ni smp skg single.bkn saja xpnh ade bf, skandal ke hape2 sume tade (ye.silela mengasihani sy). ak ni sebnrnye sgt kuat mengusya.kuat sgt! (haha.jujur gile).tp org xkn sdr ak usha dorg (mane ble kasi dorg perasan or rs bangga or hensem plak).tp mcm tula.disbbkn ak ni pemalu xkn kemanala ushaan ak tu.ak ni nmpk je mcm ni, tp ak mmg x mengamalkan perigi cr timba!mmg xnk!ak msh percaya lelaki yg kene mulakan sume.ak ni mmg wanita tradisional.hahak.xknla kan ak pulak nk g"hi,bole berkenalan?".huduh sggh bunyinye.even kalo ak lelaki ak akn rs turn off . even ak suka sgt org tu ke ape, ak xkn msg org tu dlu smpla org tu msg dlu.lg ak suke org tu lgla pemalu gile ak jdnye (ini rahsia ye.tiada sp yg tau selama ni.hahaha) selain itu jua, ak ni mmg jns tapaham lelaki tu nk ngorat ke ape smp dorg sendiri bgtau dorg nk ngorat ke ape.ssb tu rmi kate ak blurr.papela.yg pasti ak ni pemalu dan sume org hrs tau itu.hahaha

4.dlu ak malu sgt nk approach patient.jd medical student mana bole cmtu.kene buat muka x malu utk blaja.skang pn still segan esp yg jns muka garang2 tu.tp memandangkn mmg terpaksa, mandai2la blaja buat muka xreti malu tu.tp salu membe ak jd mangsa utk disuruh approach patient.haha.xbolela nk segan selalu.bknnye nk tanye history je, nk examine bdn dorg sume,kenela blaja build rapport sebaik2nya.bayangkan camana ak nk check testes+penis dorg kalo ak pn menggelabah segan2.tp mslh ak skg ak x segan lansong nk check2 mende tu sume(bkn mksdnye ak suka check part2 tu ok!), nk approach je segan.problem btol

5.spt dean ak, dia nk sume 5 ans bile tanye soalan.5 causes of pneumothorax, 5 causes of cardiomegaly etc2.ak pn nk ckpkn 5 gak.ak ni pemalu gan org2 yg ak rapat time kecik then bile dh besar mmg sume x tegur sapa ape sume.cthnye cuzin ak sendiri.ak kecik2 rasa agk close kot gan dorg.lps tu berthn2 x jmp smp dh bsr br jmp and sgt segan nk borak gan dorg and tatau nk borak psl ape pn.rs total stranger.ak rs ak sorg je  kot mmg x close dan xknl cuzin sendri.bile tgk org len sume superslose gan cuzin.lg close gan cuzin dr member sendiri kot.tp tahla mmg dh mcm tu.lg satu even childhood friend ak iaitu jiran2 ak sendri.segan jugak gan dorang.pdhal dorg friendly je.ntahla.tah papela ak ni kan.dorg pn sume dh kawin2 and ak pn dok hostel and salu blk pn tros msk rmh.manede terserempak sgt gan dorg.

oke bye.nk siapkn projek ppd ni.cuti2 pn kene buat.komplen byk pn x gunekan.